R.I.P.

I have to do it. It wouldn't be right for a TV lover like me not to. As much as I hated the over-the-top campiness of his shows, TV today wouldn't be TV today without his vision. And let's face it, I did love some of it. They don't call them "guilty pleasures" for nothing...

The countless hours spent daydreaming over the pretties he put on the television screen.
The laugh-out-loud absurdness of his show's plotlines.
The endless stunts and, self-promotional marketing.

But seriously, can you find a single person in America who wasn't a fan of his shows at some point?

So here's to you, Mr. Spelling. May you rest in peace, and may Angels (maybe even Charlie's) lead you home.

Aaron Spelling- 1923-2006 Television Production Credits included: Charmed, Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place, Dynasty, Charlie's Angels, The Love Boat, 7th Heaven, Hart to Hart, TJ Hooker, Fantasy Island, Starsky and Hutch, S.W.A.T. and The Mod Squad.
And seriously, folks, that's not including TV movies, film features, his daughter Tori....

Newsweek: "Aaron Spelling was the McDonald's of TV producers—no one ever accused him of being a master chef, but he sold more shows than anyone."
"...the Guinness Book of World Records says he created 3,842 hours of television since 1956..."
MSNBC: "To create one of these social mileposts is an honor. To create a few is amazing. To be the man behind all of them borders on a pact with the devil late one night on a lonely road outside Pasadena. Yet anyone who doubts Spelling’s ability to coerce art out of a cultural void need only look at “T.J. Hooker”: Here is a man who somehow convinced William Shatner to run!"
CNN: "But even rarer is the visionary who can satisfy the audience's tastes -- the impresario who knows what viewers want, sometimes even before they do, and then gives it to them. On this, Spelling's track record certifies the exacting calibration of his gut."

Look Ma! No wires!

I can tell it's a good action flick, if I hit the 10 minute mark and I don't care if it has a plot or not. I can tell it's a great one if a plot actually appears.

B13- all action junkies should go see this movie. It's what VanDamme and Segal desperately wanted to be back in the day. It's Jet Li without wires and art house rainshowers and bamboo forests, and Jackie Chan without the comedy pratfalls. The action is based on Parkour, which is a French-originated discipline of getting from A to B under your own power, any way you can. You go over, under, or around obstacles using only your hands, feet, agility and speed. Sound easy? Go to YouTube, search, and wince at the people who do it badly. And then go see this movie and see people doing it right.

It's not too long and it's absolutely breathtaking. (And that's just the stars, Cyril Raffaelli (warning: link has sound!) and David Belle. Couldn't resist.)

The pacing is frantically excellent, and the aforementioned plot is actually rooted pretty strongly in the present-day turbulance of the French "ghettos." Just maybe not the stuff about the neutron bomb....

And yes, I said French- there are subtitles, get over it. If I could manage not to giggle everytime they mentioned the bomb had a 24 hour timer on it- you can read a few subtitles.

Go!

Who the f&*% greenlit this; or, why is this show still on?

It's that time. The networks are reaching their season/series finales and my VCR is doing overtime. It's been a weird season. Some shows have earned my devotion, some shows give me pause, and others have, well, we don't talk about them much, we're hoping they'll go away. And no, I don't have the premium channels- this is an expanded basic listing.

My personal television s&*% list. These are the shows, a genre, and one entire network that have fallen so far, or have managed to stay so mired in the muck of their own offal, that I go surfing by them with my nose plugged and my eyes closed. I am afraid, very very afraid.

The Ghost Whisperer- CBS, staring Jennifer Love Hewitt and her, um, assets.

Ya know, I should love a show like this. Creepy kids, vengeful spirits, easy-to-follow plots. I mean, I pay to watch movies dumber than this. But I Just. Can't. Do. It. It's her voice, and her line delivery and her, well it shames me to admit this, but there is something very disturbing about her hair. She turns her head and IT DOESN'T MOVE! Sometimes it does, but occasionally, when it's been teased like a portly third-grader, it's just there.
This Sixth Sense meets Touched By an Angel blended with a WB teen drama just meanders along. At least Patricia Arquette over on Medium has a relevant job and a family to interact with along with Casper and his merry band.

Divine intervention? Yup- it's renewed. JLH gets to stay with the majors instead of being banished back to the Family Channel.

Invasion/Threshold/Surface- ABC/CBS/NBC

Oh the humanity! Or at least what's left of it. Fox Mulder told us for years that the aliens were coming, and he was right. They even cloned themselves a few network executives to use as puppets, spreading their propaganda. Reality TV isn't the only thing spawning replicas on every network possible. Yes, creepy things abounded this season as all of the main networks showed us that there is something out there... now if they can only get those things to watch this show, 'cause we're not.

Alien intervention? Invasion has a few more episodes to go before TPTB make their decision. Threshold- abducted, Surface- I fear this one is still around for I cannot find news of its cancellation. (sigh)

The All-American Sitcom- ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, UPN. Comedy, comedy, wherefore out thou comedy? A pratfall by any other actor would smell as sweet. Assuming that a) you have a concept beyond Type A meets Type B, they bond and hilarity ensues, b) a cast that can do comedy well instead of just looking vapid and pretty, and c) an audience who cares.

It seems the live-audience sitcom is falling (however temporarily) by the wayside to make room for a spate of dramedys (*sigh* Arrested Development) and no-audience comedies (The Office, My Name is Earl). This is not a bad thing. Everyone needs a breather now and again. And the genre isn't dead, How I Met Your Mother is an example of a good concept (Courting Alex-Dharma redux), good casting (William Devane- just can't see it here), and not trying too hard to continually one-up itself (Joey, Will and Grace, Two and Half Men....).

Pie in the face? Nope not yet, but Satan's put some of these puppies on life support and has made a few back-room deals the details of which have yet to appear in Variety. Thankfully, not Will and Grace which got old several seasons ago and is now, thankfully axed.

The WB- UPN is, regrettably, too easy, so the WB takes this place because it used to be a good network, or at least had shows I was willing to kill time with. Buffy, Angel, Smallville (until the last two seasons), Gilmore Girls (I know, I know, I just can't bring myself to care anymore!) heck, I even liked Roswell. And I really liked Jack and Bobby- the concept kept it from feeling too high school-y and angst-y. But alas, no more. I'll pick up Supernatural on occasion, I like cheap horror (and cute stars), but that's about it. I don't talk about Charmed anymore- it's too painful.

Permanent Hiatus? Yup! The entire network has been cancelled, to be combined with UPN. (YIKES!) Beyond Veronica Mars, no one seems to know what will survive, although everyone's laying their bets. (My money's on Everybody Hates Chris, Supernatural, maybe Smallville and maybe one or two of UPN's other comedies. Gilmore Girls only has about one season left in it- it will likely make the transition, but look for a replacement pilot next season....)

Nobody Should Mentions

Desperate Housewives, ABC- It was cute when it started. Then they solved the big mystery. And introduced a new one. And forgot about it for almost the entire season while they futzed around with the "A" cast, forgetting the things we loved best about them and destroying them. So I'm forgetting it now, too. I have Grey's Anatomy.
Reality TV, ABC/CBS/NBC/UPN/WB/Fox... Reality TV now falls into three categories- 1. My life sucks more than yours so I'll make you watch it. 2. My life sucks more than yours, but these people are going to fix it for me. 3. My life sucks more than yours, but I'm willing to make it suck even more to win neat prizes! Notable exceptions: Intervention- if this doesn't scare you, even a little, you should consider a career as an interventionist, or get your head examined- maybe both. Project Runway/Top Chef- Bravo to Bravo for coming up with reality concepts that take real, tangible skills. And for casting for more than just pretty faces with extreme personalities. There is no amount of sucking up/making deals these people can do to save their asses- "they're in", or they "pack up their knives".
Without a Trace/CSI:Miami- they forgot a cardinal rule of the procedural drama: The characters personal lives are not a central theme of the show. They are to be lived on the side, referenced in "what did you do last weekend?" snippets of snappy banter, or to explain why such-and-such character went a little Vic Mackey on that last suspect. Pay attention to CSI's Vegas crew and L&O: SVU- both have managed to give their characters fairly detailed "off-duty" lives and corresponding work conflicts without having to have any "very special" episodes.