- A plot that serves the main action (loosely if necessary)- check
- Airplane (must malfunction on cue)- check
- Stalwart Hero- check
- Stalwart Heroine- check
- Sidekick- check
- Bad Guy- check
- Passenger that's afraid of flying- check
- Passenger Asshole (preferably British)- check
- Actual Mom (with baby for peril and angst)- check and check
- Kids (without parental supervision, see above)- check and check again
- Actually, have Central Casting send up one of every stock character for the passenger manifest. (Hmmmm, but no Italian mobsters, Asian's in this year.)
- Lap Dog for the Spoiled Heiress (must have appropriate name)- check
- And for God's sake, don't forget the Motherfucking Snakes for the Motherfucking Plane or we have no movie!!!
I can honestly say that I haven't had this much campy fun at a movie in ages. (Well, not since Slither anyway.)
I can also honestly say I didn't know death by snakebite could occur in such, um, interesting forms.
It doesn't waste time setting up a silly plot, it's pretty much 1-2-3 and we're on the plane. We're not talking Shakespeare here. But what it does set up isn't stupid. Cliche, oh, goodness, yes. We hit just about every disaster/creature/action cliche there is: no pilot, plane breaks, rampaging, angrier-than-normal animals to hunt and kill, snarly (and snarky) passengers, harried stewardesses, brash FBI agents, all of it and more; but it's not dumb. And it works! The hype didn't lie!
It's funny. And creepy. You don't have to think, so just sit back and enjoy the flight. (Example- all you need to know about the flight attendants you learn during the emergency instructions, and none of them speak a word.) There are scenes that make you squirm in anticipation, and scenes that just jump out and grab you. You name it, we got it, about the only thing missing was the pregnant lady going into labor.
Maybe we're saving that for the sequel.
Go see it, unless you're seriously ophidiophobic in which case I feel genuinely sorry for you, you're missing out on a fun thing here.
And if you're in the Austin area, see it at the Drafthouse and get one of these. 
(If the snakes left any of 'em, that is.)
(If the snakes left any of 'em, that is.)
