Pssst! It's the Emmy noms, pass it along...

OK, I swear I'll be getting back to my look at the new fall shows, but my personal life got a bit in my way. In the meantime...

PRIMETIME EMMY SEASON!!!!!!

And, wow, 24, you go, guys! Normally you expect an Emmy darling like The Sopranos, Will and Grace, or The West Wing to come out on top of the series noms list, but this year 24 takes the top spot as the most nominated series. Apparently the nom process changed up a bit to spread out what/who was eligible, so the noms got spread out a bit. But just a little bit. (But, still sorry, Gilmore fans and Veronica Martians, you're still shut out.)

And here's my personal handicap sheet for the "major awards." (Plus a few.) Watch me get them all wrong come August.

Oh, yeah- we're splitting into multiple posts here- this is Reality/Comedy. Can you tell the difference?

Outstanding Reality Competition Program
The Amazing Race, American Idol, Dancing With the Stars, Project Runway, and Survivor.
Missing in Action: Top Chef, I thought it was highly underrated and took actual skill to compete, something I harp on a bit if you know my tastes in reality TV.
The last three year's it's been The Amazing Race's award to lose, and they haven't. I really don't see that changing. The thing about these reality shows is that they're static. There's no room to grow because you have to start fresh every season so if your premise isn't award-winning to start with, then you're kinda outta luck. And of all these shows, only The Amazing Race and Project Runway have set-ups that are novel enough to keep the Academy's interest. TAR gets to travel around the world and PR requires actual SKILL to win. The difference here is that TAR is on network and PR is cable.
Winner: The Amazing Race
My heart wants: Project Runway (Mainly 'cause I still giggle when I go past the Red Lobster and I can still hear the wail of "Where THE HELL is my chiffon?!"
WTF! The Upset: Dancing with the Stars, 'cause we got to see those without skill actually acquire it and it was kinda nifty, in an embarrassing VH1/Surreal Life-y kinda way. And occasionally the academy likes to throw a bone at the new kid, if only to make them go away.

Outstanding Reality Program
Antiques Roadshow, The Dog Whisperer, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, Penn and Teller: Bullshit
MIA: Intervention and The Deadliest Catch- they aren't competitions, but if you lose on these shows- you lose BIG. Like, your life, big.
Um, wow. This is so all over the board I don't even know where to begin. I mean, Antiques Roadshow vs. Penn and Teller? The Dog Whisperer vs. Kathy Griffin? (Wait a sec, those as shows wouldn't be so bad, hmmm...) Aw, hell- let's just call it.
Winner: Extreme Makeover- widest audience, cutesiest premise, and I'll take being stuck in an elevator with Ty Pennington and his, um, bullhorn, over Kathy Griffin and her issues any day.
I ::heart:: : Penn and Teller: Bullshit. 'Cause they bring the snark, and are one of the reasons I bemoan my lack of expanded cable.
WTF!: Antiques Roadshow, 'cause, kidding, right? Antiques Roadshow!?! (Although fans of that show are really hard-core about it I hear...)

Supporting Actor, Comedy
Will Arnett (Arrested Development), Jeremy Piven (Entourage), Bryan Cranston (Malcolm in the Middle), Jon Cryer (Two and a Half Men), Sean Hayes (Will and Grace)
MIA: Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother) C'mon- Insert your own Doogie Howser, M.D. joke if you must, but NPH is one of the best things about this show and you know it!
You know, I'm really glad W&G finally got axed. Not because it went on about two, three seasons too long (it did), it reduced stunt casting to a quivering, overblown cliche (it did), or because it ran out of shameless gay jokes and after about three seasons (it really, really did), but because it will finally remove Sean Hayes from my television screen for awhile. I liked W&G, and Sean seems fine in interviews and whatnot, but after a few years and a few thousand ass/breast/penis jokes, my poor eyes (and not to mention my ears) need a break from the flamboyant Jack. He was a one-note character that went way out of tune, once too often. As for the others, Piven gets great press, but the non-network comedies always have an uphill battle in any category, and I feel the same way about Bryan that I do about his, co-star Jane, but I wrote her up first, so you can scroll down. I still don't get the love for TaHM, but I'll give Cryer his due, anyone that can go this long with Charlie Sheen's reputation dogging (and maybe dragging?) the show has to be one heck of an actor.
Winner: Will Arnett- this show is to critics, what Firefly is to its fanatic fanbase. It's gone, but they're going to be in mourning forever. Pity Emmy.
I ::heart:: : Jeremy Piven. I have never seen the show and I want this guy to win, that's how spectacular the reviews have been of his portrayal.
WTF!: Bryan Cranston, I honestly thing nominating the Malcom folks has become as much a reflex for the committee as The West Wing noms are.

Lead Actor, Comedy
Steve Carell (The Office), Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm), Kevin James (King of Queens), Tony Shaloub (Monk), and Charlie Sheen (Two and Half Men)
MIA: Eric McCormack (Will and Grace) What, no Pity Emmy? Everyone else was nominated. Harsh, man, really harsh. Terry Crews (Everybody Hates Chris), why is he MIA? Three little letters: U.P.N.- when the entire network goes down, I don't care how good you are...
My, what a difference a lack of Friends and Everybody Loves Raymond makes. Steve Carell has earned his nom, but I swear I didn't even know King of Queens was still on and 2 1/2? Oi! Please don't get me started. So the only ones to count are Tony, Larry and Steve. And sorry, Larry, you're quirky, but not in a warm and fuzzy, Dilbert's pointy-haired boss kinda way. Or a OCD, nervous-nelly kinda way. Or in any way, really. So, sorry.
Winner: Steve Carell- the guy's the bee's knees this year- everyone loves him!
My ::heart:: : Tony Shaloub- just 'cause I've loved him since Wings. Yes, I watched Wings- wanna make something of it?
WTF!: Charlie Sheen- the guy's a pariah this year- everyone wants to hate him! But wierder things have happened and the people seem to still genuinely like TaHM.

Supporting Actress, Comedy
Cheryl Hines (Curb Your Enthusiasm), Alfre Woodard (Desperate Housewives), Jamie Pressley (My Name is Earl), Elizabeth Perkins (Weeds), Megan Mullally (Will and Grace)
MIA: Jessica Walter (Arrested Development) I don't really need a reason, do I?
You know, I think the committee was just afraid the Housewives were going to come after them, 'cause I really don't see Alfre's performance as Emmy worthy. Sophomore slump doesn't even begin to cover what happened. And remember my earlier rant at poor Sean Hayes above? It applies here, too. Sorry, Megan, I wish you best of luck on that talk-show thing you've got going for you, but please keep Karen far, far, away from us... Weeds was a very good show, I hear, but apparently people only heard of it, 'cause I'm having a bit of trouble finding friends who actually watched it. And while that hasn't stopped the Academy before, (seen Arrested's trophy case lately?) I don't hear the raves from critics that usually compensate for lack of audience.
Winner: Cheryl Hines, I hear shes the glue that keeps that cast together- that's usually good enough for the Academy. And I really think these might be Curb's only real chance.
I ::heart:: : Jamie Pressley- she is just too fun to watch. I alternately want to give her a hug and smack her upside the head, occasionally both at the same time.
WTF!: Alfre Woodard might take it, but only because she's Alfre-freaking-Woddard, not because the character was decent of the plotline she was in made any kind of sense.

Lead Actress, Comedy
Stockard Channing (Out of Practice), Jane Kaczmarek (Malcolm in the Middle), Lisa Kudrow (The Comeback), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (The New Adventures of Old Christine), Debra Messing (Will and Grace)
MIA: Tichina Arnold (Everybody Hates Chris), but we know why, see above...
Let's take this from the top, shall we? Stockard was arguably the best thing about OoP. (Add a "s" to the end of that acronym and you have my overall opinion of the series.) But was her performance Emmy-worthy? Or is she here because we couldn't shoehorn her into the Drama category for The West Wing which is where she really belongs? Jane- (Jane, Jane, Jane) I'm sorry, I love you, but no. You've done a superb job with a character at the same time irritable and maternal, but I think you're going 8-0 in this category as nothing you did this year really stood out from everything we've seen you do before. Lisa, the spate of "reality" sitcoms that are appearing nowadays is disturbing, but you've got a shot- after all, a lot of people really miss Friends. Julia, have we broken the curse of the Seinfeld alums (Larry David non-withstanding)? Maybe, but Chistine is just a slightly less annoying version of Elaine, and I REALLY hated Elaine. Debra- go see Jane (only drop the maternal and substitute, um, goofy?).
Winner: Debra Messing- Let the Will and Grace funeral awards begin... (or continue, or end, 'cause I never do these things in order ya know?)
I ::heart:: : Stockard Channing- she really should be over in Drama, but if she has to win something...
WTF!: Lisa Kudrow or Jane Kaczmarek- toss a coin. Both shows are gone, so it's a pity prize in either case, althogh I'll give an edge to Lisa for a better show concept...

Outstanding Series, Comedy
Arrested Develpoment, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office, Scrubs, Two and a Half Men
MIA: My Name is Earl, but that's OK, maybe that karma thing'll kick in next year.
I could continue my diatribe on the inexplicable appeal of Two and a Half Men, but I think it's getting old. I could add a few more word about Pity Emmys in relation to Arrested Development, but I won't. I could sing for the wonders of Scrubs and how I hate that it won't win 'cause all the other shows have actor noms to boost their support and Scrubs doesn't, but, um, I just kinda did, didn't I? Only without the actual singing part? I just don't think the Academy gets Curb, and The Office, while justly deserving of it's hype, is, well, pretty well hyped. So to call it...
Winner: Arrested Development, 'cause any show that mocks its own downfall as well and with as much grace as they did deserves this.
I ::heart:: : Scrubs- like AD, it just doesn't have the audience it deserves, but unlike AD, it doesn't have the pretty statues to keep it company.
WTF!: Two and a Half Men- do I have to say it again? I didn't think so.